The Breakfast Club

We’ve been taught since we were stuffing our jaws with Fruit Loops that breakfast is the Most Important Meal of the Day.
That might be true, though some would agree with me that the most important meal of the day is the one you are eating Right Now.
Still, word to the wise, the complimentary breakfast at a hotel is NOT the most important meal of the day. It is just a buffer to get you out of the hotel and on your way to your next meal — and out of the hotel with the feeling that you’ve stolen something free.
Let’s review.
Summertime, the best of all the seasons — including Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons — begins today.
No school. The fish are jumpin’ and the cotton is high. Your daddy’s rich and your ma is good-looking.
Summer! Watermelon. Baseball. Sunshine until 9 at night. Fireworks. Fireflies.
It’s a beautiful thing, summer is.
So, what’s not to love? — besides it being 110 degrees and many of us not having power — a common North Louisiana peculiarity.
Nothing, really, except the oasis that is the complimentary hotel breakfast.
Many of you will go on a summer trip soon. Or now. Awesome. Have a ball.
Just don’t have a big expectation over the complementary hotel breakfast.
The trend began a decade or so ago. You pay $130-ish to stay in a hotel. And they say, “Hey, breakfast is on us.”
Which is beautiful. I’ve eaten dozens.
But I know it’s just a powdered egg and maybe a sausage that is intended to get me on my way. Don’t do as I’ve seen hundreds do: they complain that this isn’t hot or the toaster doesn’t work or the bacon is microwaved.
Hey: it’s a bonus. It’s complimentary. It’s “free.” That waffle iron has been used by hundreds of people, not just by your wife or daughter. You eat your hotel waffle made by yourself, you take your chances.
Most of us have stayed in nice hotels once or twice. Omelet stations. Waitresses or waiters. Bacon fried instead of microwaved.
We still have that option. But if you stay at a Complimentary Breakfast place, you know going in that the plates will be Styrofoam. So don’t ask for something for nothing. Grab a bite and move along.
Somewhere, there is a great Complimentary Breakfast Hotel Staff that makes sure all is ship shape. I’ve seen them and adore them. But more times than not, the hotel is just giving you a pat on the back — or on the stomach — and telling you to move along.
I appreciate their trying. We should too. Grab a pre-frozen biscuit and hit the road.

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