Sabine Parish Tourist Commission Executive Director graduates from LA Tourism Leadership Academy

Georgia Craven, Executive Director of Sabine Parish Tourist Commission, recently graduated from the Louisiana Tourism Leadership Academy (LTLA).

The 22 members of the LTLA class developed their leadership skills and learned from professionals throughout the tourism industry during 2022. This program equips class members with knowledge and skills to strengthen the tourism industry state-wide.  


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Kaitlyn Johnson joins Sabine Hall of Fame Board

The Sabine Hall of Fame is pleased to announce the election of Kaitlyn Johnson as a member of the Board of Directors according to Chairman Pete Abington. She replaces Donna Smith Ammons who resigned.
 
Born in Misawa, Japan, Kaitlyn attended Anacoco Elementary and Pineville High School. She then studied Mass Communication with a focus in Broadcasting while double minoring in Criminal Justice and Marketing at The University of Louisiana at Lafayette.
 
She was a member of Kappa Delta Sorority and worked with the Girl Scouts of Acadiana as a mentor.
 
While in Lafayette, she spent three years working with KLFY News 10 and ESPN where she was the face of UL Sports Media. She recently transferred closer to home to finish her degree at Northwestern State University.
 
Featured on local, regional and national television, Kaitlyn has a diverse background in communication, mentoring, leadership, social media, broadcast production and graphic design.
 
Kaitlyn is currently the Marketing and Events Coordinator for the Sabine Parish Tourist Commission and the President of Sabine Parish Leaders Against Litter.
 
She loves Louisiana and is looking forward to working with members of the Sabine Hall of Fame Board to highlight and honor the special people who call Sabine Parish home.

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State Senator Sharon Hewitt: Our next Governor of Louisiana?

Senator Sharon Hewitt discusses her life in politics, her educational
background and work experience and why she believes she can be an effective
Governor for the State of Louisiana. Senator Hewitt emphasize the importance
of economic development and other vital issues of importance during this
election year.

Photo: Sharon Hewitt Campaign


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Black’s record-setting night paces Demons’ blowout of HCU

Ja’Monta Black hosted quite a 22nd birthday party Thursday night in Prather Coliseum.

Northwestern State’s sharpshooting senior guard celebrated turning another year older by establishing one school record and tying another, leading the Demons to an 82-63 Southland Conference victory against Houston Christian.

Black, a 6-foot-4, 205-pounder, tied NSU’s single-game 3-point record, connecting on nine long-range shots that lifted his single-season total to 88 – two clear of Jalan West’s mark set in the 2014-15 season.

“I have the best teammates in America,” said Black, who entered the game third nationally in made 3-pointers. “I couldn’t do anything I do it without them. I couldn’t do anything I do without my teammates, my brothers.”

The reigning Southland Conference Player of the Week, Black had 14 of his game-high 31 points in the first half and hit five of his nine 3s in the second half. After tying Kenny McMilllon’s mark he set against Texas-San Antonio on Feb. 20, 1993 with a pullup 3 with 9:54 to play, Black had two potential record-breaking 3-pointers rattle out.

Black’s hot shooting helped the Demons (13-8, 5-3) build a nine-point lead with 8:18 to play in the first half before Houston Christian (7-14, 4-4) tied the game at 26 on a pair of Bonke Maring free throws.

The tie lasted less than a minute as Emareyon McDonald buried 3-pointers on consecutive possessions 37 seconds apart to give the Demons a lead they never relinquished.

Part of that was because of Black’s third 31-point game of the season and second in the past three while another key was slowing the Huskies’ inside attack, led by Maring, who had 15 first-half points.

Maring finished with 21 points after managing just five field goal attempts in the second half as the Demons made a more concentrated effort to pressure the perimeter and eliminate passes to the HCU center.

“We always tell our guys, ‘When you communicate, you’re faster,’” head coach Corey Gipson said. “The communication was unbelievable. That allowed our guys to make sure they were assignment correct on the defensive side of the ball. We were flying around. We were talking. We were touching and taking. Those type of things make a difference.”

The Demons limited Houston Christian to 36 percent shooting from the field, more than 10 percentage points below their season average of 46.9 percent, which led the Southland entering the game.

The Huskies kept things close in the first half by sinking 11 of 14 free throws, part of a 25-for-37 night at the line. Northwestern State held the Huskies to 9-for-25 shooting from the field in each half.

Highlighted by Black’s record-setting 3 at the 12:03 mark, the Demons broke from halftime with a 24-9 run across the first 9:14 of the second half to effectively put the game away. The Demons’ lead grew to as much as 25 on Cedric Garrett’s 3-pointer with 6:10 to play.

Black’s hot shooting put the Demons in position to rest their rotation players as several NSU players earned or tied season highs in minutes.

Among them was Hansel Enmanuel, who added to his growing highlight reel with a pair of dunks including a backside follow slam off a DeMarcus Sharp miss with 12:33 to play.

Enmanuel finished with four points, three rebounds and a block in 17 minutes of action, more than doubling his previous career high of eight.

“I had to keep working,” Enmanuel said. “I had to take care of my teammates. We are a family. They are helping me get better and keep going.”

Enmanuel’s second dunk came off a beautiful feed from Harrison Black, who later scored his first career points off a pass from Enmanuel.

Harrison Black joined Karlin Hardy as Demon reserves who equaled their season high in minutes played. Harrison Black’s bucket, a free-throw line jumper, drew almost as much of a response from the NSU bench as Ja’Monta Black’s parade of 3-pointers.

“We’ve got a great group of guys, great leaders,” Harrison Black said. “Ja’Monta, Sharp, they’ve been great leaders since Day One. Them supporting us when we’re out there like we support them, you can’t be any better than that.”

The Demons return to action Saturday, hosting Lamar. Tipoff is set for 3:30 p.m. inside Prather Coliseum.

Credit: Chris Reich/NSU Photographic Services


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Lady Demons lock down Huskies

NSU 22 Joelle Johnson HCU 13 Lauryn Mapusua

Northwestern State spent a large portion of its practice time this week working on defense. That focus paid major dividends in a 59-48 win over Houston Christian on Thursday night in Prather Coliseum.

The Lady Demons (8-10, 4-4) held HCU to a 26 percent shooting effort from the field, the lowest by a Division I opponent since the 2010-11 season. Candice Parramore’s career-high 24 points led the charge on the offensive end to get NSU back in the win column.

“The girls had a really good week of practice where we worked on our defense a lot,” head coach Anna Nimz said. “We shored up some areas there during the week, still had some mishaps tonight, but they did a really good job from start to finish. They handled the offense, played their scout and played with intensity.”

NSU came out with the defensive intensity Nimz wanted to see from opening tip, the thing that was missing from the previous two outings on the road.

Neither team was able to find the bucket for nearly the first four minutes of the game, combining to got just 2-for-13 from the field through the first six minutes of the night.

Parramore hit the first of her career high four 3-point shots to answer HCU’s break through bucket with 6:11 left in the first quarter. She dropped in a jumper with under a minute to go to put NSU on top, a lead it held the rest of the game, and Bengisu Alper capped the low-scoring opening quarter with a corner 3 to make it 13-9.

“The coaches have really been helping me gain confidence in my shot,” Parramore said. “It really is just a confidence thing for me when it comes to 3s now. I know how people are going to play me, so I’ve been working on gaining that confidence to take those long shots.”

The NSU defense cranked up the effort in the second holding HCU to just two made free throws through the first four and a half minutes of the second quarter and just one field goal in over eight minutes of game time. The Huskies finished 2-for-11 from the field in the second quarter.

It forced five turnovers in the first quarter, upping that to six in the second and took a 26-22 lead into the half.

The Demons held off the best HCU run of the night midway through the third quarter where the Huskies pulled within a pair thank to an 8-2 stretch. Three turnovers on its three possessions following the final bucket opened the door for the Demons to burst through and take control of the game.

Parramore started a 9-0 run with a layup on an inbound play and the Demons back-to-back key baskets from Joelle Johnson to push the lead to double-digits with two minutes to go in the quarter.

All eight of Johnson’s points came in the second half at seemingly the most opportune times.

“I think she (Johnson) stepped in big,” Parramore said. “I talked to her at halftime and told her to not get frustrated, because she definitely was frustrated in the first half. I told her they were going to go in, in the second half and I think that helped her confidence to shoot and do what she does.”

The Demons forced four of the five third-quarter HCU turnovers in the final four minutes of the quarter and did not allow a made field goal during that stretch.

HCU closed the gap to single-digits on four different occasions in the fourth quarter but each time the Demons found an answer on the offensive end, and found the final push down the stretch defensively to shut the door on the game.

Like it did to end the third quarter, NSU held the Huskies without a field goal, or point for the final three and a half minutes, sealing the game with four free throws in the final 40 seconds.

“I was happy to see them have success after two frustrating road games,” Nimz said. “Happy to get back into Prather and win a game in front of our fans and happy for the girls to get that confidence back. They did a good job all week and always good when you see that come to fruition.”

Credit: Chris Reich, NSU Photographic Services


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Northwestern State will host Flavor of Louisiana March 17

Northwestern State University will host Flavor of Louisiana, the university’s most popular fund raiser, Friday, March 17 in Prather Coliseum.

Flavor of Louisiana is presented in partnership with the Louisiana Seafood Board and the NSU Foundation and showcases specialty seafood dishes prepared by restaurateurs, chefs and caterers from around the state, along with specialty cocktails, craft beers, desserts and options for non-seafood eaters. The event also features live music, dancing, raffles, silent auctions and more.

“After a COVID-induced hiatus, last year’s return of Flavor of Louisiana was one of most popular events that took place at NSU and we are thrilled to be hosting the 2023 event,” said Cristy Bernard, assistant director of Donor Relations. “Guests can expect great food, good people and lots of fun on March 17. It’s a celebration of the Demon family, donors, supporters, students, alumni and friends.”

Doors will open at 6 p.m. Tickets are $85 per individual and $135 per couple. Sponsorships are available at the Magnolia ($1,000), Bayou ($2,500) and Louisiana ($5,000) levels and come with signage, reserved seating, admission to a sponsor’s only cocktail pre-party, special gifts and other corresponding perks. The sponsorship deadline is Friday, March 1.

To purchase tickets or for information on sponsorships or participating as a chef, visit

https://northwesternstatealumni.com/flavor-of-louisiana/ or call the Office of University Advancement (318) 357-4292.


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Explorers Club raises money for Shiners Children’s Hospital

The Explorers Club at Zwolle High School, sponsored by Mrs. Eaves, collected money by allowing students to donate towards a teacher to be “pied” in the face at the pep rally on Jan. 26. The club was able to collect a total of $950 to be donated to the Shriners Children’s Hospital! The school staff and administration are so proud of the students and the club for donating and participating in this wonderful cause.


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Zwolle Dixie Youth Registration Information

Registration for Zwolle Dixie Youth will be held on Friday and Saturday, Jan. 27-28 from 3:30-6:30 pm at the Dixie Youth Fields in Zwolle. Registration will also be held on Friday and Saturday, Feb. 3-4 from 3:30-6:30 pm in the Zwolle High School Cafeteria. Parents must have copy of birth certificate when registering their child.

*If you’re interested in Coaching you must have your drivers license with you, background checks will be completed the days of registration.


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The ugly side of professional bass fishing

Recently, I watched a great You Tube video by Elite Series Pro Chris Zaldain. He and his wife, Trait, host a You Tube/Podcast show called “Zaldaingerous,” and I came across a 1:44-long video edition in which they dove deep into some of the issues facing professional bass fishing. 

This episode featured Elite Series Pro Matt Herron, who happens to be a good friend of mine and is never short on words. If you want the truth and perspective of a guy who has made a great career for himself, then Matt is the right choice. He will not sugar coat the issues and has sound advice on how these issues should be handled.  

In this particular episode, Matt breaks down some of the problems and situations pertaining to professional bass fishing. Matt, Chris, and Trait talk about rules, sponsorship dollars, polygraph testing, the 2019 split, the new open series, and the Tony Christian scandal. 

If you’re an up-and-coming young man and want to know how to be a pro angler, you better make the time to sit down with Matt Herron. He will not lead you to believe that being a full-time professional angler is easy. If anything, he may have you second-guessing yourself before you walk away. He’ll probably ask you, “Are you sure you want to do this for a living?” 

The first topic they discuss is the fight over sponsorship dollars and how the pool has shrunk. He referred to his days of starting on the FLW (Forrest L. Wood) Tour (2003) and how FLW ruined and burned so many non-indemnity sponsors like Tide, Walmart, Gastrol Oil, Land-of-Lakes, Kellogg’s, and many more. FLW did not deliver the exposure they promised all these major sponsors. When FLW folded, all these potentially great sponsors dropped out of the professional fishing market and left, probably never to return. 

The market of companies out there looking to provide assistance to an angler has shrunk dramatically. Matt points out that today, it’s almost impossible for an angler to make it on his own without solid financial backing. He makes light of how mommas, daddies, or grandparents with deep pockets are footing the bill for these young anglers to try and make it. They do OK for the first couple of years, which is all they are guaranteed. Then, the 70 percent that don’t make it leave the sport with thousands of dollars of debt — up to their eyeballs!    

Next, Matt, Chris, and Trait talk about polygraph issues. He and Chris both would like to see more anglers polygraphed after an event and have some of the questions be revamped. Matt talks about how he personally knew an FBI investigator and how the FBI conducts a polygraph test. He talks about how the wording of questions is critical to catching a cheater. 

They brought up the Tony Christian scandal that rocked the professional bass fishing world when Tony was caught cheating in an FLW Tournament after his “honey hole” was discovered and investigated. It was discovered that he had made a special basket, put it in the water, and stocked it with bass. The basket allowed for his bait to enter the basket, catch a bass, and exit while the lid closed as the fish came out of the basket, retaining all other bass waiting to be caught. Tony was eventually banned for life from fishing as a professional angler and has virtually disappeared. 

If you want to hear the undisclosed side of the professional bass fishing world, check out the episode yourself. Go to youtube.com and search “Zaldaingerous.”   

The husband/wife Zaldain team interviews anglers who fish the Bassmaster Elite Series. They do a fantastic job of introducing their fans to the harsh reality of being a professional angler. There’s no topic or subject that’s out of bounds as Chris and Trait are excellent hosts with a wealth of experience themselves as professional bass anglers.  

Until next time, good luck, good fishing and don’t forget your sunscreen. Also make sure to schedule regular dermatologist appointments. If you don’t have a dermatologist, find one! 

Contact Steve at sgraf26@yahoo.com


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OPPORTUNITY: Special Education Teacher

POSITION: Special Education Teacher

LOCATION: EAST NATCHITOCHES ELEMENTARY SCHOOL

QUALIFICATIONS: Certification according to State Department of Education as an Elementary Mild/Moderate Teacher.

SALARY: According to NPSB salary schedule.

DEADLINE: Thursday, February 9, 2023; 4:00 p.m.

WHERE TO APPLY:
Linda G. Page, Personnel Director
Natchitoches Parish School Board
P. O. Box 16
Natchitoches, LA 71458-0016
Phone: (318) 352-2358
Fax: (318) 352-8138

APPLICATION WEBSITE:
 npsb.la

APPLICATION: Application packets should consist of a letter of application, resume’, transcript(s) from institutions awarding degrees, a copy of teaching certificate, and two letters of reference.


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That time a ‘guy’ told me no one was thinking about me, and it was awesome

There’s an argument to be made, one bolstered by people’s behavior on social media, that those who live in the western world can be filtered into two camps.

Those who just want to be mad about something. And those who don’t.

I know this is a vast oversimplification. There is so much that goes into a person’s anger and hurt that none of us can ever hazard to begin to walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. So as to not draw someone’s ire, I’ll just use myself as the example of today’s little bit of writing.

I have realized that at many times in my life I have just been a person who wanted to be mad. I didn’t want to be a victim. That’s an entirely different first-world fault we have. I just wanted to be angry at someone.

Social media was the worst thing to ever happen to younger me. Other people’s opinions, beliefs, words, political perspectives and so forth made me so mad. That’s the story of the modern world. I didn’t like people I perceived to be hypocrites even though I was one of the biggest myself. As Gandhi said, “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians.” I was one of those he wouldn’t like.

I used to just want to be angry. That’s the bottom-line cause Stone Cold said so. Quiet was confused with arrogance when in actuality it was irritation. I had an issue with people because my perspectives shaped my life. It was a long-learned behavior. It made me not like the man I grew up to become. I was a hypocrite. I always told people to just look in the mirror and if you like what you see then you are doing ok. But I never really did. I didn’t like what was looking back.

But something changed a few years ago. I just started talking. I wasn’t talking to anyone in particular. I knew who I was and that person was not who I wanted to be. I didn’t like who I was but I felt encouraged because I wanted to change. Bad people didn’t want to change, right? I wanted to be better. So that had to count for something.

I started talking to no one in particular. And I know I looked crazy to anyone who may have seen me. I started to read. I started to write my thoughts down. I started to ask questions instead of making accusations and thinking I already knew everything. Why did I feel the way I did? I asked more. I didn’t try to tell. I didn’t ask questions I already knew the answers to.

It wasn’t until I started seeking that I started finding. And when I let the answers come, I stopped caring what others put on their social media feeds. I stopped caring who they voted for. So, what if you do bad things? So, do I. So, what if you bad-mouth others? I have done that from time to time as well. So, what if you stumble and fail and stay down sometimes only to cry and blame everyone else but yourself? Brother, I’ve been there.

I realized that God wasn’t religion. And in all that talk and all that reading, I came to find that God doesn’t want me to care what others think. He doesn’t want me to worry about what others have or the way others live their own life just like he doesn’t want them to care how I lead mine. Someone in all that talk of mine basically talked back. “No one’s thinking about you, Josh. No one cares what you think. No one cares if you don’t like them. They aren’t thinking of you.”

And then came the bombshell.

“Isn’t that so freeing? Doesn’t that change everything?”

Wow. When I had this realization, I legitimately said out loud “Wow,” and a little old lady by the vitamins in Walmart lowered her spectacles (I like that word – spectacles) to wonder if I was a malcontent or rabble-rouser.

I realized God wanted me to be all His all the time. He doesn’t want me leaning on others. He doesn’t want me to be self-reliant. He wants me to rely on Him. I am walking a tightrope. So are you. So are we all. Our security rests in Him and not in our best-laid plans. Our best-laid plans are folly. They suck. They are laughable. We walk that tightrope and it is He alone who helps us stay standing. Not people. Not circumstance. It is He who we must go to for prayer, for answers. I said I didn’t know who I was talking to earlier. But I do now. I was talking to the one above all. I was talking to the one beckoning me —one step at a time.

“Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, can separate you from My loving Presence,” I read once and now I know it to be true.

So too is this: For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Josh Beavers is a teacher and a writer. He has been recognized five times for excellence in opinion writing by the Louisiana Press Association.


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Join the Krewe of Life this Saturday

Join the Krewe of Life Blood Drive on Saturday, Jan. 28 from 4-8 pm and provide the gift of life to someone in need. The LifeShare Bus will be parked at 965 San Antonio Ave. for the Town of Many Mardi Gras Parade, which rolls at 5 pm. 

Your blood donation could impact the life of someone you know, someone you’ll meet, or your closest loved one. Donate Feb. 1-21 and receive a Krewe of Life t-shirt, while supplies last. Mobile drive dates, times, and locations are subject to change. For the most up-to-date mobile drive information visit LifeShare.org/Give.


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Notice of Death – January 26, 2023

Sammie L. Kitchen
Arrangements TBA
 
Doris J. Williams
Arrangements TBA
 
Gladys Bloodworth
Service: Saturday, January 28 at 11 am at the Winnfield Memorial Funeral Home Chapel, located at 318 North Street in Natchitoches
 
Juan “Foojuan” Braden
Feb 26, 1969 – Jan 21, 2023
Service: Saturday, January 28 at 1pm in the Winnfield Memorial Funeral Home Chapel, located at 318 North Street in Natchitoches 

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SABINE PARISH BASKETBALL SCORES

Monday, January 16, 2023

GIRLS

Starks – 52 (13-11)

Converse – 41 (12-17)

BOYS

Converse – 58 (6-15)

Starks – 52 (5-17)

Tuesday, January 17, 2023

GIRLS

Converse – 44 (13-17)

North DeSoto – 43 (8-14)

Hornbeck – 41 (18-7) (1-1)

Ebarb – 33 (10-14) (0-3)

Zwolle – 55 (18-9) (3-0) Kayla Kimbrough – 24 points, McKayla Price – 16 points, Kalijah Smith – 9 points, Kourtney Sepulvado – 5 points and Brianna Lambert – 1 point.

Florien – 52 (24-2) (1-1) Jay Richardson – 14 points, LaToya Holmes – 13 points, Grace Rutherford – 11 points, Lilly Sparks – 9 points and Marleigh Sparks – 7 points.

Lakeview – 41 (17-2) (3-0)

Many – 23 (6-11) (0-3)

Negreet – 43 (10-11) (2-0)

Stanley – 22 (6-14) (0-3)

BOYS

Converse – 58 (7-15)

North DeSoto – 57 (2-10)

Hornbeck – 58 (21-5) (2-0)

Ebarb – 28 (15-12) (1-2)

Zwolle – 61 (23-2) (3-0)

Florien – 60 (10-14) (0-2)

Lakeview – 56 (16-6) (3-0)

Many – 42 (1-10) (0-3)

Negreet – 60 (9-10) (2-0)

Stanley – 56 (14-7) (1-2)

Castor – 67 (11-9)

Pleasant Hill – 36 (5-18)

Thursday, January 19, 2023

GIRLS

Converse – 57 (14-17) (1-2)

Stanley – 42 (6-15) (0-4)

BOYS

Stanley – 47 (15-7) (2-2)

Converse – 36 (7-16) (0-3)

Friday, January 20, 2023

GIRLS

Converse – 57 (14-17) (1-2)

Stanley – 42 (6-15) (0-4)

Pleasant Hill – 62 (14-11) (2-1)

Ebarb – 32 (14-11) (2-1)

Florien – 55 (25-2) (2-1)

Negreet – 34 (10-12) (2-1)

Red River – 52 (6-10) ( 2-2)

Many – 46 (6-12) (0-4)

BOYS

Ebarb – 63 (16-12) (2-2)

Pleasant Hill – 29 (5-19) (1-2)

Negreet – 43 (10-10) (3-0)

Florien – 41 (10-15) (0-3)

Red River – 82 (10-12) (1-2)

Many – 44 (1-11) (0-4)


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GeauxPreps Power Ratings for Sabine Parish Teams

Monday January 23, 2023
 
BOYS
 
DIVISION III
 
Ranking  Team             Record   Power Ranking
#37         Many              1-12         20.11
 
DIVISION V
 
Ranking Team              Record   Power Ranking
#1           Zwolle            23-2       54.33
#12         Ebarb             16-12     41.76
#26         Negreet          10-12     36.68
#27         Florien            11-15     36.52
#37         Converse        7-17      31.39
#40         Pleasant Hill   7-19       29.71
 
 
GIRLS
 
DIVISION III
 
Ranking Team              Record   Power Ranking
#21         Many              7-15          29.04
 
DIVISION V
 
Ranking Team              Record   Power Ranking

#6           Florien            25-2        51.75

#8           Zwolle            18-9        48.27
#18         Pleasant Hill    14-11      43.51
#23         Negreet           12-12      39.88
#32         Ebarb              10-16      37.17

#34        Converse         17-14      34.90


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Central Sabine Fire District to offer Fire Apparatus Driver/Operator Class

Central Sabine Fire District will offer a Fire Apparatus Driver/Operator-Pumper class beginning in March, located at Central Station at 1710 San Antonio Ave. in Many. There are limited seats. The class will also offer a certification test. For more information or to reserve a seat, call Chief of Training Chris Rainer at 318-581-0251. 


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Out with the ‘in’ crowd

“Sir, I’m sorry, but we don’t have you in our computer.”  

Can you hear worse news? 

You can — “Sorry, we’re out of bacon” — but it’s a short list.  

Such was the case this week when my friend Shine Broussard called a government entity about something governmental. 

“We don’t have you In our computer,” he was told. Cold words to hear in person, colder over the telephone. 

“Now I’m out here with the gnashing teeth bunch, out here where the sun doesn’t shine,” Shine told me. “No program. No starting lineups. No jersey numbers. ‘Not in our computer.’ I’m on an island with the lepers.”  

If you’re ‘not in our computer,’ you are a non-person, is what you are. These days, you have to be in the computer. In a lot of computers, actually. You might be in your dentist’s computer, which is good when a molar won’t behave, but being in your dentist’s computer won’t help you a lick if a kidney wants to opt out of his contract and become a free agent. Then you’d better be in your urologist’s computer. Now. Today.  

There was a time when you didn’t need to be “in our computer.” There was a time when people knew your voice on the telephone, or trusted to some extent that you were who you said you were. Those days vaporized with vaudeville.  

Then you had to be “in our files.” A lot of trees died for those files. If you wanted a Social Security check or a driver’s license renewal or a copy of your transcript, you had to be in the files.  

Now the files are “in our computer.” You are in our files and in our system if you are in our computer. And if our computer says you aren’t in there, well, you can’t argue with our computer. Forget that a computer is only as smart as its programmer, as energetic as its power source and as efficient as the person who typed you “in” to start with. 

It’s the computer, bud. Don’t argue with it. You might as well try to win a spat with Aunt Ethel about how to cook greens or shell peas or do the jitterbug or read your Bible. Good luck with that!  

So if you’re not In The Computer, you’re out of the loop. In a fix. Up a creek. Down the river. Out of luck. In a jam. Between a rock and a hard place. Out of the picture. Off the radar. 

“Sir, I’m sorry, but we don’t have you in our computer.” (That’s just one frantic, lonely step removed from the hazy “I’m sorry, but our system’s down” No-Man’s Land. If the system’s down, you might as well call in the general and tinkle on the fire because the game, my dear friend, is over.) 

I can imagine the computer people talking on their break. “Some poor guy called and wasn’t in the computer. I mean, come on! Idiot…Haha. Hahahahaha….!” 

Makes you jealous of people who are “in.” Things are easier for the in’s among us. But how did they get in, anyway? Being “not in” makes you feel like those people Hunter S. Thompson wrote about in the Gonzo Papers, people who chase something they’ll never so much as sniff. Missing. Back-ordered. No teng .Vaya con dios. Seeya! 

But do you really want to pay the price for ins-manship? First-born child? Life savings? Moe Bandy record collection? What do I have to give up? And here’s a question: What if you get in and you can’t get OUT? There’s you a pickle. 

Such are modern times. All the more reason to hope that when I meet St. Peter, I’m in the computer and the system’s not down. 

(Originally ran August of 2010, when all the computers seemed hot and angry … ) 

Contact Teddy at teddy@latech.edu 


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The Chinatown Revelation

By Brad Dison

John Joseph was born in Neptune City, New Jersey on April 22, 1937.  He was raised by his parents, Ethel May and John, and sisters June and Lorraine.  June was 18 years his senior, and Lorraine was 15 years his senior.  June aspired to become a famous entertainer.  In the 1930s, June Nilson, as she was known professionally, began her dancing career under the tutelage of dancing teacher Eddie King.  She danced in several performances and was featured in the opening of a club called the Pic and Pat club in New York City.  She also appeared in several off-Broadway productions.  On New Year’s Eve in 1935, she was featured as a specialty tap dancer in Earl Carrol’s Palm Island club in Miami, Florida.  Earl Carrol was a controversial figure because his showgirls were usually scantily clad.  He was known as “the troubadour of the nude.”  At some point, June returned to the family home.  In 1941, when John was four years old, June moved again to Miami, Florida to work for Earl Carrol.  Her aspirations eventually led her to Hollywood, California. 

Perhaps, his sister’s ambitions rubbed off on John.  In 1954, John, then 17 years old, moved in with June in Hollywood.  John found a job as an office boy in MGM Studios’ animated cartoon department.  While at work one day, a producer noticed something special in John.  It may have been the way he carried himself, the way he said a certain sentence or phrase, or the way he smiled.  At the producer’s recommendation, John began taking acting classes.  In 1956, John received his first acting credit for his performance in one episode of a television series called Matinee Theatre.  In 1958, he performed in the film The Cry Baby Killer.  John’s career as an entertainer had been slow in the late 1950s.  In 1960, however, John’s career “took off.”  In that year alone, John appeared in four films and two television series.  Unlike June, whose Hollywood career never came to fruition, John’s career flourished for the next five decades.    

It was through his acting career that John learned a secret.  John was scheduled to be interviewed about one of his upcoming films by a writer from Time magazine.  As part of the preparation process for the interview, researchers from the magazine began exploring John’s background.  It was then that they uncovered John’s family’s secret.  Rather than revealing this during the interview, a representative from the magazine revealed the secret to John in a telephone call.  John sat in stunned silence while the magazine representative revealed that June and Lorraine were not his sisters, and John and Ethel May were not his parents.  The evidence provided made the claims undeniable.  John’s family had kept a secret from him his entire life.  John and Ethel May died without ever revealing that they were not his parents, as John had always been told, but his grandparents.  Lorraine, whom John thought was his sister, was actually his aunt.  John’s mother was June.  According to the researcher, John’s father was Don Furcillo-Rose.  June had gotten pregnant out of wedlock, which would have reflected badly on the whole family in that era.  After careful consideration, the family agreed to keep John’s true parentage a secret.  They hoped it would remain a secret forever.

John needed to confirm this for himself.  John and Ethel May were long dead, and June died in 1963.  The only person left alive who could verify or deny the claims of the Time magazine researcher was Lorraine.  He called and spoke with Lorraine’s husband whom he affectionately called Short.  “A guy calls me on the phone, and says that my father is still alive, and that Ethel May wasn’t really my mother, that June was my mother.”  Shorty was in disbelief and handed the phone to Lorraine.  John repeated the information.  After a moment of silence, Lorraine confirmed that the story was true although she was unaware of the identity of his real father.

John described the discovery as being “a pretty dramatic event, but it wasn’t what I’d call traumatizing.  After all, by the time I found out who my mother was, I was pretty well psychologically formed.”  He added, “I was very impressed by their ability to keep the secret, if nothing else.”  John jokingly referred to June as his “sister-mother.”

John is considered by many to be one of the greatest actors of all time.  He has won 3 Oscars and a host of other awards for films such as Terms of Endearment, As Good As It Gets, and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.  The film for which he was being interviewed when he learned his family’s secret was called Chinatown.  You and I know John Joseph Nicholson as Jack Nicholson.

Sources:

1.      Asbury Park Press, January 2, 1936, P. 15.
2.     Trey Taylor, “Jack Nicholson Grew Up Believing His Mom Was His Sister,” August 6, 2020.  instyle.com/celebrity/jack-nicholson-mom-sister.
3.     Swapnil Dhruv Bose, “When Jack Nicholson discovered that his sister was actually his mother,” April 6, 2022. faroutmagazine.co.uk/jack-nicholson-sister-was-his-mother/.
4.     Aaron Homer, “How Jack Nicholson Discovered His Sister Was His Mother,” July 18, 2022.  grunge.com/621340/how-jack-nicholson-discovered-his-sister-was-his-mother/


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Notice of Death – January 24, 2023

Sammie L. Kitchen
Arrangements TBA
 
Doris J. Williams
Arrangements TBA
 
Gladys Bloodworth
Service: Saturday, January 28 at 11 am at the Winnfield Memorial Funeral Home Chapel, located at 318 North Street in Natchitoches
 
Juan “Foojuan” Braden
Feb 26, 1969 – Jan 21, 2023
Service: Saturday, January 28 at 1pm in the Winnfield Memorial Funeral Home Chapel, located at 318 North Street in Natchitoches
 
Rudolph Hamilton
Service: Wednesday, January 25 at 12:30 pm at the Central Louisiana Veterans Cemetery in Leesville
 
Jerry Don Tillman
July 17, 1946 – January 20, 2023
Service: Wednesday, January 25 at 10 am in the chapel of Blanchard-St. Denis Funeral Home 

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