If Santa Claus was a bass pro

Just for kicks and giggles, let’s pretend that Santa Claus became a touring bass pro. What would that look like? Who would be his major sponsors? What would be his favorite technique? What brand boat would Santa run, or would he just transform his sleigh into a fishing machine?

First, Santa would probably have to lose a few pounds in order to compete at the highest level. Fishing the tour is a grind and it’s not for someone carrying 50 to 80 pounds of extra weight. But the extra weight would come in handy for insulation on those cold early-season boat runs. He would definitely have to give up the cookies and gingerbread that he so dearly loves, while joining the North Pole Fitness Center. 

Now that we have a much slimmer Santa, let’s look at who would sponsor Jolly Ole Saint Nick. Obviously, it would have to be the best sponsors in the industry on a global level. When it comes to what rod and reel line he would choose, I think his first choice would be 13 Fishing. Since 2012 this company has rose to the highest ranks in the fishing industry. Of course, Santa would want nothing but the best and I think he would choose 13 Fishing’s Concept A3 series as his reel of choice.  

What kind of fisherman would Santa be? More than likely a power fisherman. A guy of his stature and physical presence would probably like to chunk and wind a spinnerbait or crankbait, or maybe he would like to flip and pitch a jig. Either way, he would be an angler who would never pick up a spinning rod, or as some pros call it, a Fairy wand. 

What kind of fishing line would he spool on his reels? Well, that’s an easy answer! Only the best will do for the man in the big red suit, so that would be Seaguar fishing line. They carry the best fluorocarbon and braided lines made on the planet. As for hooks, what would he use? Again, it’s a no brainer! He would choose a Japanese brand, Gamakatsu Hooks, the number one brand used by the best pros in the world. Not even his elves could produce a better hook from scratch.

What about a boat? What brand of boat would fit Santa and fulfill his every need? One thing we’ve made clear, Santa likes the latest and greatest when it comes to product and has nothing but the highest of standards. There are lots of boats that would be okay, like Ranger, Skeeter or Bass Cat, but today he would choose Caymas. This would give him the best combination in terms of speed, ride, comfort and fishability. Caymas truly is not only a great boat, but one of the newest brands on the market today and becoming very popular among tournament anglers. Don’t just take my word for it, stop by The Boat Shop in Shreveport and see for yourself why so many anglers are switching over. 

Can you imagine how his boat would be wrapped? There would be all the colors of Christmas and every sponsor would be displayed proudly all the while paying homage to Rudolph and the other eight reindeer with their photo image on the wrap. Obviously, there would be a grand display of red and green Christmas lights from bow to stern that would light up an entire body of water. No one would have a better-looking boat than Santa with his heated boat seats and automatic hot chocolate dispenser!  Oh, he’ll also need a truck to pull that Caymas boat with. How about a new Ford F150 4X4 pick-up truck from Jimmy Granger’s Natchitoches Ford! This would complete Santa’s fishing rig and have him hitting the tournament trail in style.  

Christmas is a special time of year and the fact that Santa is real makes it even more special. Like I still remind my kids — who are now in their 20s and 30s — when you stop believing, he stops leaving the gifts you so enjoy. But at our house, we know the true meaning of Christmas and celebrate it honoring the birth of Jesus by making a fresh batch of cinnamon rolls and placing a candle in the middle and singing happy birthday to our Lord and Savior.  

I hope you’ve enjoyed considering what kind of fishing pro Saint Nick would be if he chose to change his profession. ‘Til next time good luck, good fishing, and Merry Christmas! Here’s hoping your stocking is filled with some great bass catching lures and plenty of sunscreen!

Contact Steve at sgraf26@yahool.com

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